The Forgotten Small Differences
Sometimes I forget I live in Germany. This may seem odd but it happens at least once a month. When I first came to Germany, I’d be constantly reminded that I was living in a different country. Large differences were all around me, such as speaking German or driving on a different side of the road. Now these things are quite normal, I’m perhaps too relaxed. This tends to make me revert to the factory settings mentally. There have been occasions when I've walked into a shop and instinctively spoken in English for instance, which is generally not so bad but can create initial confusion and a little embarrassment. What often reminds me where I am are the small differences I see walking around, such as a family in matching Jack Wolfskin jackets, a bakery or walking passed a shop selling Trachten. Having to spend so much time in the house has only made the situation worse, but even here there are many small differences to be found all around.
Light Switches
I’ve never understood why German homes have bigger light switches, to be honest, I find it a little unnerving. I'm sure there is a logical, boring answer to this perplexing issue. Perhaps Germans on average have bigger hands, I can't say that I've noticed. In comparison to UK or US light switches, the German variety are massive, but unsurprisingly they are very useful. As the designated carrier of all heavy objects in my household, I often find myself carrying unwieldy items at all times of the day and night. Looking for a light switch in Germany is a simple matter of mashing an elbow, shoulder, or a well-aimed foot at the wall. Nine times out of ten whatever part of my body I’m flailing connects with the light switch. Try that in in Britain and you’re liable to puncture a hole through the plaster board.
German Taps
If you ever meet a German travelling in the UK, take the opportunity to show them your taps and watch for the grimace of disgust. Britain has steadfastly ignored many of mainland Europe’s innovations, but easily the most heinous snub has been not having mixer taps as standard. Although things are changing, many British homes still have two taps for cold or hot water. Children are educated to perform a swishing action between the two temperatures or to turn both on and fill the basin. In Germany they have one tap, allowing you to select the perfect temperature before soaping up and getting down to business. Although I’m now a full mixer tap convert, I’m still impressed with the level of shock two taps produces in people here.
German House Tree
In Germany pot plants are for the weak willed, what you want is a tree. A big tree. In your living room. Obviously having some plants is hardly a tremendous cultural shift, but the quantity and prevalence of house trees and large pot plants feels unusual. Some people I know dedicate whole sections of their homes to large plants and trees, going beyond the bohemian look and creating a savage lands vibe. The plants don’t just stay at home. Many offices in Germany have similar trees and giant pot plants slowly taking over the office, requiring people the use a machete to get to the photo copier.
Coffee Filter
Coffee is officially a German blood type, I checked and that is a true fact. It’s so important, many Germans have a coffee machine of some description, but in case of problems, most Germans have a backup plastic coffee filter too. British homes, in comparison, may have a cafetiere or opt for instant coffee. I’m fairly sure that it’s against the law to offer guests in Germany instant coffee. I’ve never tried though, I like living here too much. The plastic coffee filter is ubiquitous and like the British and their travel kettles, the German traveler usually has one with them.
Window Shutter
Curtains can really pull a room together, or at least that's what the home furnishing magazine I read in the dentist's waiting room say. However, ask yourself this; can a nice set of curtains protect you from the inevitable zombie apocalypse? No, they can't! What you need is some heavy-duty metal shutters that can quickly transform a stylish home into an armoured, Zombie proof death fortress. Keeping out the undead is only one practical aspect of window shutters, the other is the ability to keep a bedroom in toe-stubbing blackout or to cool rooms during the increasingly hot summers. US citizens in Germany often complain of a lack of air conditioning systems, but who needs one when simply lowering the shutters can easily cool a room. When the zombie hoards come, Germany will face them well-rested and at a reasonable room temperature.
Gefro Knives
If you are lucky enough to be invited to the home of a Bavarian, politely excuse yourself for a moment and have a quick rummage through their cutlery drawer. I guarantee you will find at least one of these red handled knives. What you have discovered is the Gefro knife, possibly the sharpest object known to man. The Gefro knife is usually given away as a free gift by the Gefro mail order soup and sauce company with orders over a certain price. Sometimes they just come in the mail, meaning any letter from Gefro should be opened very carefully. They are incredibly sharp, and the serrated edge can make short work of the thickest loaf of bread and the most hardy vegetables.
The Windows
Most new arrivals will at some point mention German windows. It might be a strange topic to bring up, but these humble windows are a marvel of engineering. Don’t take my word for it though, just ask Angela Merkel. When asked about what Germany meant to her, Merkel sited air-tight windows. German windows are not only very secure, they open in two different ways to ensure that Germans can both enjoy a cool breeze, while also complaining about the cool breeze. It’s a win-win!
